Missed Connection:
If you’re out there dream woman, start one of those fires with black smoke that rises in the sky like in ‘LOST.’ I’ll be there in twenty minutes or three days (depending on if this wheelchair that I souped-up works).
A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME…
A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME…
- Mortimer
- Julius
- Template Voodoo
- Nexium
- Charlie
- Kettuce
- Mooku
- James
- Jamie
- Jam
- Flibbergopple
- Red Flower Thingy
- Microwave
- Maximum Treefort
- Stoop
- Toby Maguire
- Razzle Dazzle
- Von Biver
- Crupe
- Chateau House of the Teepee
- Stanley
- Coot
- Shemple
KANYE WEST AND KIM KARDASHIAN BABY MONOLOGUE JOKES
KANYE WEST AND KIM KARDASHIAN BABY MONOLOGUE JOKES (written by Sam Grittner):
Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy test didn’t read positive or negative it just said “$” (ch-chaing).
Congratulations on the babye!
I know I’m part of the problem but can we just go ahead now and wire the media’s jaw shut for the next nine months? THAT would be ‘Amazing’.
Weird fact: The Kimye baby already weighs 808oz and has a beard.
I know rappers are close but hopefully Jay-Z didn’t make a guest appearance in Kim.
It’s like that old nursery rhyme: First comes fame, then other black dudes, then getting knocked up, and never working a day in your life.
Kanye West, trying to baby proof his life, has already had suicide doors put on four custom-made Maserati Minivans.
There’s a new Kanye/Jay-Z collab dropping soon; be on the lookout for ‘BABYSITTERS IN PARIS’
I don't judge by race, gender, or beliefs. I judge you based on how quickly you're ready to place your order when you're ahead of me in line
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 21, 2013
HEADSHOTS (BY MINDY TUCKER)
