Rock beats paper. Paper beatboxes. Paper gets noticed. Paper signs with a label for millions. Paper wins. Paper rocks.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2014
Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking about how they signaled Batman during the day.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2014
"Is Bread there?"
"No, I'm sorry you must have the wrong number, this is Brad."
"Thanks anyway."
*hangs up*
*ducks turn the phone book page*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 25, 2014
Anxiety feels like trying to open the plastic bags at the grocery store while wearing oven mitts covered in Vaseline.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 24, 2014
"The end." – Quentin Tarantino starting a bedtime story
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 24, 2014
"Celebrating" Earth Day while we do nothing to stop global warming is like throwing a birthday party for someone while they bleed to death.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 23, 2014