My favorite passage of the Bible is where they forget to mention the dinosaurs they lived with on every page
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 31, 2015
"Tie up those garbage parts in that meat balloon." – inventor of the hot dog/people
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 29, 2015
when u ready to turn the party up to maximum motherfunkness but u also a bird contemplating ur place in the universe pic.twitter.com/gYb7QysAGw
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 29, 2015
"Why do you have a second sink for people with giant hands to use?"
"That's the bath tub."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 27, 2015
Stop being afraid of periods, guys. If I bled from my dick once, not every month, just once, that's literally all I'd ever talk about, ever.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 25, 2015
Clear eyes. Full hearts. Denim cut-offs.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 24, 2015