What was your best panic attack of 2015?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 31, 2015
1st Base: Eye contact
2nd Base: Planning a heist together
3rd Base: Marriage
Homeplate: Revealing you're a lizard and she does the same— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2015
i'll sleep when i'm bed
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2015
[year 2030]
ME: Don't judge a book by its cover
CHILD: What's a book?
ME: Never mind. Eat your food pellet before we begin harvesting.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2015
"Who's ready to bone?" – Paleontologist getting primed for work
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 27, 2015
An entire movie consisting solely of Batman trying to parallel park the Batmobile.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 26, 2015