25 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT: NICOLAS CAGE

25 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT: NICOLAS CAGE

NICKCAGE

1) His middle name is Batting

2) He has touched the Holy Grail with his dick at least once today

3) He has been alive for 8,000 years and dead for 7,825

4) His favorite kind of music is Bluegrassorangefield

5) He has never seen a cow

6) He has killed over twenty people on movie sets (not while filming)

7) He has never made direct eye contact with himself

8) He has no idea what a movie is

9) He has more swords than you have cells in your body

10) He can speak to dogs, chairs, certain sauces, and the Mayor of Cleveland through telepathy

11) He has never eaten a hot dog that he hasn’t personally made

12) He soaks his car keys in his own blood

13) He has no idea who Ralph Nader is

14) He once worked for the CIA, smuggling ACTUAL arms to Cuba

15) He invented water polo when he was high on embalming fluid with Einstein

16) He is scared of horses and watermelons

17) He believes bad luck is only real if you didn’t pay the witch with actual money

18) He owns a castle made entirely of leather

19) He speaks perfect English but only in Chinese

20) His adopted child is really a sandbox full of gravy and golden toothpicks

21) He has no idea what global warming is

22) He believes most children are holograms or sandboxes

23) He only makes love in coffins or space shuttles

24) He built his own DNA in a haunted vineyard

25) He wants to ride a horse into the sun but this time do it to inspire the children

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.