AXE is really just Robin Thicke's sweat.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 31, 2013
Good night, Moon. If you fall from the sky, please crush my stupidest enemies to death first. Thanks.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2013
what idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2013
If every day is a gift then Mondays are from SPENCER'S.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2013
I was always very young as a child.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 28, 2013
During summer we should elevate the Lincoln Memorial, give him a whistle, sunglasses, and shorts. Who's more appropriate for a lifeguard?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 26, 2013