It's Friday so make sure to trap your nemesis in a web of lies of their own making and head out a little early.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 29, 2016
A woman on the train had a chipmunk in her coat pocket and she fed it for the entire ride and now I'm questioning all my priorities in life
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2016
FIRST DATE TIP: Wear a ski mask to really make your eyes pop
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 27, 2016
Headlines I’m looking forward to:
ARE MILLENNIALS TO BLAME FOR WWII?
HOW MILLENNIALS SCREWED OVER THE BABY BOOMERS
MILLENNIALS: HUMAN POISON— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 26, 2016
*enters confessional booth*
"Forgive me, Father. For I'm about to murder this flow…"
*priest starts beatboxing*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 26, 2016
Lord ? of ? the ? Rings? is ? crazy ? this ? season ?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 25, 2016