"Why do you have a second sink for people with giant hands to use?"
"That's the bath tub."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 27, 2015
Stop being afraid of periods, guys. If I bled from my dick once, not every month, just once, that's literally all I'd ever talk about, ever.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 25, 2015
Clear eyes. Full hearts. Denim cut-offs.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 24, 2015
I only throw cucumber water balloons.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 22, 2015
TAXI DRIVER: Where are you going?
ME: I've been asking myself that my whole life
TAXI DRIVER: (long pause) I don't go to Brooklyn— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 19, 2015
Female viagra?!? What's next? Cars for women? Food for women? Clothing and shelter for women? Where does it end?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 18, 2015