You're more likely to die of embarrassment than Ebola. Calm down.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 4, 2014
Ladies love it when you tell them the sex was spooktacular.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 30, 2014
BROOKLYN SIDEWALK: A Love Story pic.twitter.com/Il3VDdWehn
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 2, 2014
No paper cut is an accident. Trees want revenge, they're just extremely patient.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2014
I could be a parent. I'm really good at saying someone's name two times in a row then shouting it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 27, 2014
Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 26, 2014