eggs are fun but find yourself first
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 16, 2017
REPORTER: What is your plan?
DONALD TRUMP: Exactly.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 13, 2017
My beach body hasn't washed up yet.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 12, 2017
United's new slogan is, "Fight or Flight"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 11, 2017
Open casket open bar
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 5, 2017
Comparing heroin to pot is like comparing a gun to paperclips. One will kill you and the other can help you keep your shit together.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 4, 2017