I don't ride the subway often anymore, ever since the ALLEGED "wolverines and Ketamine" incident on the F-Train a few months back, but when I do manage to sneak under a manhole and make the jump onto a speeding train, I try and soak up everyone around me. When I do, I tend to assign them my own made-up personalities. Here is who I saw today:

• Asian Steve Jobs
• A Wall Street hustler
• Asian Steven Tyler
• A spiffy lawyer
• Asian Yoko Ono
• A gay lumberjack
• Asian Banksy
• A kid with a lunchbox and weird eyebrows
• Asian Jesse Plemons
• A fruit vendor with ulterior motives
• Asian Carmen San Diego
• A bird inside a top hat
• Asian Scatman Crothers
• A scientist and his concubine
• Asian Joan of Arc
• A mental health expert with three hands
• Asian Ted Nugent
• A blind woman wearing a THIRD EYE BLIND t-shirt
• Asian Rob Thomas