If you have a ponytail, there's no need to fill out an application. You can just walk into any Guitar Center and start working the floor.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 10, 2014
what idiot called it a chicken instead of an eggplant
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 9, 2014
Paul Rudd always looks like he just learned he's going to be an Uncle for the first time.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 8, 2014
*kid puts up MISSING DOG posters*
DAD: "Don't waste your time with that"
*dad buys 3D printer*
*prints new kid that doesn't get so attached*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 7, 2014
Jeff Goldblum always looks like he's deciding on a fair price for a garage sale item.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 5, 2014
Mark Wahlberg always looks like you forgot his birthday.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 3, 2014