Amy Adams always looks like she just found out who her parents are.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 2, 2014
a group of old people is called a casino
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 2, 2014
*goes to pond*
*duck hands me $100*
"Give me the hard stuff."
*hands over bag of croutons*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 2, 2014
In Russia, Fools April You
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 1, 2014
If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 30, 2014
No matter how bad life gets, always remember: You were THE BEST sperm and no one can take that away from you. EVER. Unless you have a twin.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 30, 2014