Opinions are like assholes: I always have at least one
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 20, 2013
One nice thing about being broke is that you're already finished Christmas shopping before you've even started.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 19, 2013
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/412743276723470336
"Here's the idea."
"Ok."
"It's EXACTLY like a Sharknado, except this time.."
"Yes?"
"It's a Squidblizzard."
*gets check for $20 million*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2013
I keep trying to shake what my momma gave me but I'm realizing I'm going to have anxiety forever
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2013
"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!" – Carmen San Diego after enabling LOCATION SETTINGS on her iPhone
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 12, 2013