Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 20, 2013
Neck Tattoos: For when you're just smart enough to not get a face tattoo but just dumb enough to get your fucking neck tattooed.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 18, 2013
HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS:
*Sexy iTunes Terms and Conditions
*Sexy Jesus
*Tyrannosaurus Sexy
*Some Sexy Sexts
*A Promise Ring— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 16, 2013
"Is Pepsi okay?"
*Dr. Pepper looks out a window, sullen*
"No. Pepsi is not okay. I'm afraid it's malignant, Mr. Dew."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 15, 2013
"The name is Bond."
"WELCOME!"
"James Bond."
"Uh, James, the second 'A' stands for anonymous and you REALLY shouldn't have a martini here."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 15, 2013
For Columbus Day, I like to go to a neighbor's house, declare it mine then make sure the people who lived there leave or suffer in silence.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 13, 2013