KANYE WEST AND KIM KARDASHIAN BABY MONOLOGUE JOKES

KANYE WEST AND KIM KARDASHIAN BABY MONOLOGUE JOKES (written by Sam Grittner):

Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy test didn’t read positive or negative it just said “$” (ch-chaing).

Congratulations on the babye!

I know I’m part of the problem but can we just go ahead now and wire the media’s jaw shut for the next nine months? THAT would be ‘Amazing’.

Weird fact: The Kimye baby already weighs 808oz and has a beard.

I know rappers are close but hopefully Jay-Z didn’t make a guest appearance in Kim.

It’s like that old nursery rhyme: First comes fame, then other black dudes, then getting knocked up, and never working a day in your life.

Kanye West, trying to baby proof his life, has already had suicide doors put on four custom-made Maserati Minivans.

There’s a new Kanye/Jay-Z collab dropping soon; be on the lookout for ‘BABYSITTERS IN PARIS’

 

Joe Cocozzello (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Joe Cocozzello (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)
Victor Varnado (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Victor Varnado (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)
Sean O'Connor (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Sean O’Connor (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)
Brent Sullivan (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Brent Sullivan (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)
Julian McCullough (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Julian McCullough (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)
Aparna Nancherla (performing at 'Something Awesome')
Aparna Nancherla (performing at ‘Something Awesome’)