For someone who isn't a monkey, Donald Trump sure hurls a lot of his own shit.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 6, 2013
You can't get mad at me for feeding your kid cheese if they have a rattail.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013
A man was spotted driving drunk inside a Wal-Mart in Florida, let this be a wake-up call for everyone: if you drink, you will end up in a Wal-Mart.
Eminem always looks like he's trying remember a phone number.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013
Kids should be kept on their toes at all times. That's why I propose that there should be one real horse on every Merry-Go-Round.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013
Still can't believe they found Richard III's remains underneath a car. This is why we can't have nice Kings.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2013