Bernie had a heart attack because he’s legitimately outraged at our broken system. Any other candidate that hasn’t at least had a stroke clearly doesn’t give a shit about you or me.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 16, 2019
HILLARY: "I was on BROAD CITY!"
BERNIE: "A bird landed on my damn podium!"
*simultaneously* "I love pizza!"
*they embrace and kiss*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 15, 2016
Bernie Sanders always looks like he's just going to need a few more minutes looking at the menu.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 9, 2016
Bernie Sanders is the old man on the subway you offer your seat to and he insists you take it and smiles. You notice his pants are backwards
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 10, 2016
I think Bernie Sanders would be an amazing President. I also think that he always walks around with packets of mustard, just in case.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 3, 2015