I asked my mom what she wanted today and she said “she just wanted me to be happy,” so I’m on ecstasy petting a dolphin right now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 12, 2013
Tag Archives: Joke of the Day
Thought I saw Zooey Deschanel tonight but it was just every girl in Brooklyn.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 9, 2013
John Goodman has been 55 for 50 years now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 8, 2013
I like the guy on ‘Game of Thrones’ with the beard and the sword (not the guy with the sword and the beard, don’t get confused).
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 7, 2013
Sometimes I talk in italics and people are none the wiser.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2013
“I want to wear an umbrella on my head that could also smuggle a dinosaur egg.” – Inventor of the sombrero
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 5, 2013