My innocence was stolen in an AOL chat room.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 12, 2016
99% of why I like babies is because they don't snitch.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 10, 2016
Bernie Sanders always looks like he's just going to need a few more minutes looking at the menu.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 9, 2016
The one upside to the bees disappearing is that the sex talk just got cut in half. "Son, let me tell you about the birds and… more birds."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 9, 2016
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 8, 2016
Crows are goth pigeons.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 7, 2016