Is my therapist supposed to have a merch table?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 2, 2015
*job interview*
"How would you best describe yourself?"
"With words."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 30, 2015
My resume is just a .gif of me putting my retainer on before bed.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 29, 2015
If you're a wizard and lost your umbrella please contact me pic.twitter.com/YVGgtV0KxC
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 28, 2015
BREAKING: Kanye West looking into divorcing Kim Kardashian so he can officially marry himself.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 26, 2015
"We don't need to throw away the ring anymore. It can be ours." pic.twitter.com/Qw0mlpFX5t
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 26, 2015