*pours milk over cow*
You're home now— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 29, 2014
*puts ear to ground*
"Dirt's a-comin'"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 27, 2014
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COOL: JUST. BE. YOU!
…maybe untuck your shirt
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2014
"WHAT DO WE WANT?!"
"SELF-CONFIDENCE!"
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"
*everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2014
Technically he was created by Dr. Cookie, that's why they call him The Cookie Monster.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 24, 2014
HOW TO FALL ASLEEP:
1. Apply clown makeup
2. Look in mirror
3. Recoil in terror & accidentally run into wall, knocking yourself unconscious— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 19, 2014