*batman voice*
Could you let the waiter know it's my birthday?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 19, 2014
Elijah Wood always looks like he just remembered your name.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 14, 2014
"First the World Cup, then the worl- never mind." – Germany
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 13, 2014
Absolutely no one knows what they're doing, some people are just smart enough to smile while they're doing it
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 13, 2014
Stop caring what other people think about you and start obsessing about it
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 12, 2014
REPUBLICANS: Children are the most important assets we have and no child should be left be- hold on what do you mean some of them are brown?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 11, 2014