guy fieri looks like sonic the hedgehog as the lead singer of smash mouth
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 3, 2013
NEW NAMES FOR EYES:
• Real Lookers
• Vision Balls
• The Watchers
• Look Who's Looking Nowsters
• TV Ingesters
• Stare Masters
• Blind Spots— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 1, 2013
I'm starting to think iTunes doesn't really need all these updates, it just wants attention and your validation.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 30, 2013
I put my pants on like anybody else: when I absolutely have to and not always then
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 29, 2013
NEW Häagen-Dazs® FLAVORS:
*He's Not Calling You Back
*She Was Just Being Nice
*Walnut Surprise!
*You're Going to Die Alone, Have S'More— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2013
If cats really had nine lives you'd see so many more of them doing extreme sports or bank heists.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 24, 2013