Ear gauges don't look very tough once I put cookies in 'em.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 25, 2013
Be the change you mutter about other people under your breath.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 24, 2013
NEW X-GAMES:
*Motorcycle eating contest
*Sex in a burning helicopter
*Underwater skateboarding with lava sharks
*Death croquet— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 22, 2013
Thought I was starting to lose my hair but it's still safe and sound in the drawer by the window.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 21, 2013
The moment I hesitated when they asked me if I'd be willing to kill a person in cold blood, I knew I didn't get the job at the DMV.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 19, 2013
Abandoned websites are the new time capsules.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 18, 2013