“You know how kids love horses that are forever frozen while screaming? What if I told you there was a way to make them go in circles after we impale them AND make a profit?” – Inventor of the carousel
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 5, 2018
Movies are so fake, like anybody really answers a phone or has kids anymore
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2014
The Xbox One will completely revolutionize how quickly our children will get diabetes.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2013
Kids should be kept on their toes at all times. That's why I propose that there should be one real horse on every Merry-Go-Round.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013