ME: Time to shut the ole brain down and finally get some fucking sleep
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 13, 2018
ME: I’m going to sleep
BRAIN: You’re going to be alone forever!
ME: What else is new?
BRAIN: Wait- what? Ummm… you’re a piece of shit and you know it!
ME: Yeah but kind of a delightful piece of shit
ME: I’m broke and I’m weird. Anything else?
BRAIN: I’m going to sleep
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2017
ANXIETY: Where you headed?
ANXIETY: Mind if I tag along?
ME: Yeah, I think I'm-
ANXIETY: Good. I'll drive
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2017
Nothing is more metal than sleeping. All you're doing is practicing being dead forever for hours every day until you actually are.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 31, 2017
Ben Carson has given the phrase "sleeping your way to the top" a whole new meaning.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2017
ME: Please let me slam dunk watermelons with Jesus in my dreams tonight
BRAIN: I'll do you one better, you can drown slowly in your mistakes
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016