Skip to content
Sam Grittner

Sam Grittner

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video

Tag: Sleep

Posted on March 13, 2018March 19, 2018

ME: Time to shut the ole brain down and finally get some fucking sleep
BRAIN: pic.twitter.com/FmOEnVFfTD

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 13, 2018

Posted on December 29, 2017January 4, 2018

ME: I’m going to sleep
BRAIN: You’re going to be alone forever!
ME: What else is new?
BRAIN: Wait- what? Ummm… you’re a piece of shit and you know it!
ME: Yeah but kind of a delightful piece of shit
BRAIN:
ME: I’m broke and I’m weird. Anything else?
BRAIN: I’m going to sleep

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2017

Posted on November 26, 2017November 28, 2017

ANXIETY: Where you headed?
ME: Bed
ANXIETY: Mind if I tag along?
ME: Yeah, I think I'm-
ANXIETY: Good. I'll drive

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2017

Posted on May 31, 2017June 22, 2017

Nothing is more metal than sleeping. All you're doing is practicing being dead forever for hours every day until you actually are.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 31, 2017

Posted on March 4, 2017March 7, 2017

Ben Carson has given the phrase "sleeping your way to the top" a whole new meaning.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 4, 2017

Posted on November 21, 2016November 28, 2016

ME: Please let me slam dunk watermelons with Jesus in my dreams tonight
BRAIN: I'll do you one better, you can drown slowly in your mistakes

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016

Posts navigation

Page 1 Page 2 Next page
  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress