KANYE (tweeting): STAR WARS is just stupid. You never even find out who Luke’s father is. That’s some bullshit
JOHN LEGEND (texting): Ye, you need to finish watching the movie
*two hours later*
KANYE (tweeting): FAM! I got some news about Darth Vader!
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 2, 2018
Lol at movie theaters that search your bag for snacks. Please give me more credit than that, I’m 35-years-old (I’m about to see STAR WARS and I have two different cheese plates duct-taped to my thighs).
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2017
EMPEROR PALPATINE: "Submit to your fear"
ME: "Done. Oh and I got one of those robes. What next?"
EP: "Uh, I forget. Usually people won't."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 9, 2017
I relate to R2D2 because I often feel like a misunderstood, sassy garbage can that doesn't know what to do with all the info it's been given
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2016
Wait wait wait….. if there are gay characters in "Star Wars" what's next? Swords made out of lasers? Robots that talk? Outer space?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 28, 2016
Boba Fett's real name is Roberta Fettuccine.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 18, 2015