You can tell by how often I delete my own tweets that I’m pro-choice.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 9, 2019
I miss the old days of twitter, when it was just grammar nazis instead of actual nazis.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 11, 2018
Taking a break from Twitter taught me some invaluable lessons:
• No one cares if you leave
• No one cares if you come back
• This isn’t reality
• None of this matters
• It’s a toxic habit that has melted my brain like an Andes mint on the sun
• I’ll never leave again
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 27, 2018
What a beautiful day to stay inside reading tweets about what a gorgeous day outside it is by people staying inside.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 14, 2018
How the fuck does Barack Obama have such an endless supply of self-restraint? Not a single tweet to the President asking, “So, Donny, how’s your day going?” Trump would literally explode and part of this nightmare would finally be over. I don’t get it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 10, 2018