My Uber driver just told the other passenger in the car to get off her phone or he would kick her out.
UBER DRIVER: “No one interrupts Lizzo”
Is $100 enough for a tip?
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 11, 2019
My Uber driver just ran three red lights and hasn’t said a single word to me. If he hits a fruit cart and keeps driving I’m gonna have to marry him.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 7, 2018
Every time I share an Uber I turn to the person next to me and ask, “How much spaghetti in the attic is too much spaghetti in the attic?” Before they can answer I inform them it’s a trick question, I only make lasagna. Then I open my door and jump and roll
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 24, 2018
My Uber driver just informed me I could have a free wind chime from his trunk if I promised to "Like" his Facebook page.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 10, 2016