Jesus could walk on water but I like to imagine he couldn’t go swimming, he’d try to dive in and it would be like trying to swim in concrete. And he kept it a secret. All his friends are at the beach like, “Come take a dip!” and JC is all, “Nah I’m good. Anyone wanna be carried?”
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 29, 2018
"Great Lakes?" Sorry buddy but you've been misinformed… they're spectacular.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 10, 2016