Skip to content
Sam Grittner

Sam Grittner

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video

Tag: Robbery

Posted on January 10, 2018January 12, 2018

ROBBER: GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!
ME: It's tied up in BitCoin
ROBBER: Can you explain what the shit that is?
*fours hours later*
DETECTIVE: Cause of death?
ME: *taking drag off a cigarette* Boredom? Knowledge? Who's to say?

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 11, 2018

Posted on April 4, 2015April 6, 2015

I keep a thesaurus under my bed in case someone tries to break in and rob me, that way I can apprise the conventional authorities posthaste.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 4, 2015

Posted on January 23, 2015January 24, 2015

Whenever someone's robbing my house, I pretend I'm robbing it too then I make off with as much of my stuff as possible.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 23, 2015

  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress