Please don't "shoot me an e-mail," unless I can "send you" in the face.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 25, 2014
Life is what happens when you're busy making excuses to cancel plans.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 23, 2014
The year is 2035.
All words have been replaced by emojis.
People swipe hello and goodbye.
Cats are still dicks.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 22, 2014
Mark Hoppus has been one my biggest supporters and proponents for a long time now. He’s given me many words of encouragement and the message he always comes back to has been: “Don’t give up. Don’t stop. No more giving me song name ideas, “Dr. Who Let The Dogs Out” is never going to be on wax.”
I am grateful for people like him, a rockstar that reads the writings of a weirdo that lives in Brooklyn.
Yes! I would like a TV show! Yes! I would like a book deal! Yes! I would like the monkeys in the panic room to stop eating all the red velvet cupcakes!
but I know nothing big really happens overnight (I waited all night and Mr. and Mrs. Hollywood didn’t come a-knockin’). It comes from continued hard work and an even greater resolve to continue to challenge yourself to be the best you, you can be, and by giving Charlie Sheen twelve suitcases of pure horse every full moon.
I am also grateful for every supporter I have. I try and read every @ and the kind words I’ve gotten over the past week have made me feel like the lunch lady gave me an extra scoop of Sloppy Joe for no reason at all except she thought that I was funny and I begged her for it.
Thank you for making me feel special. I will continue to try harder as soon as I’m done loading these suitcases into this taxi (there’s a full moon tonight).
If a bear is about to attack you, play dad. Throw a baseball back and forth with them until they're worn out and fall asleep.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 20, 2014
Toby Maguire always looks like he just remembered his name.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 19, 2014