You can't choose your family but you can choose to take ecstasy before setting foot in their home
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 24, 2016
Before you leave the Thanksgiving bash at your conservative parents' house, don't forget to slip a Hamilton soundtrack in their CD player.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2016
GOOD COP: Tell me what happened to the body & we all go home
PHILOSOPHER COP: Why are we here?
SUSPECT: We're here 'cuz I killed my- oh shit— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2016
ME: Please let me slam dunk watermelons with Jesus in my dreams tonight
BRAIN: I'll do you one better, you can drown slowly in your mistakes— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016
Instead of "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas," I prefer to use the non-controversial, "We're all dying slowly but you look great today!"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016
We’re All Gonna Die Tonight hosted by Sam Grittner and Pat Tobin
Sam Escobar, Patrick Holbert, Chloe McGovern, Victor Varnado, Alyssa Limperis, Myka Fox and more!
FRIDAY, December 2nd // 7:30PM // $5 // The Experiment Comedy Gallery, 272 Grand Street,
Basement Level, Brooklyn