Tiffany slips the envelope into the mailbox, clutching a photo of her father, "You didn't pay taxes but you'll finally pay attention to me."
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) October 2, 2016
TO-DO TODAY:
• Escape through food
• Watch the world burn
• Question my true motives
• Repeat same mistakes with different people
• Not die— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 30, 2016
REPORTER: Name one person you admire from the current cabinet
GARY JOHNSON: Lazy Susan— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 29, 2016
Here's my first piece for @Playboy, "How To Turn Your Lifetime Of Fuck-Ups Into A Resume To Kill For" https://t.co/LorTtW8O8H
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 29, 2016
FRIEND: You sure do tweet about depression a lot
ME: Yep. You know what I'd tweet about if I were a fisherman?
FRIEND: Fish?
ME: Depression— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2016
Donald Trump didn't look Presidential last night. He looked like he refused to believe his credit card kept coming back declined.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2016