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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Author: Sam Grittner

Posted on May 20, 2016June 28, 2016

"I have tasted the flesh of my enemies but the time has come for marmalade" pic.twitter.com/9LnUV8ObAL

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 20, 2016

Posted on May 18, 2016June 28, 2016

pic.twitter.com/Ssvsxww1uV

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2016

Posted on May 16, 2016June 28, 2016

I love haikus pic.twitter.com/MOYFz14vBJ

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2016

Posted on May 13, 2016June 28, 2016

I'm like a pile of garbage floating in the ocean: on the surface you see lots of gross and disgusting stuff but underneath there's even more

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 13, 2016

Posted on May 11, 2016June 28, 2016

If you're in your 20s, you can save yourself years of regret by simply always doing the opposite of what your brain tells you to do.

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 11, 2016

Posted on May 10, 2016June 28, 2016

Aside from church, where's your least favorite place to get dunked on?

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 10, 2016

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