Guns aren't the problem. We need to outlaw all people and then the guns will finally be safe.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 24, 2015
You can lead a horse to water or just feed it some Mountain Dew and watch it go freestyle skateboarding all day.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 23, 2015
Pandas are my favorite goth animals.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 18, 2015
Sex is like riding a bike: someone stole my bike
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 18, 2015
DATING ADVICE: Get hit by a bus and hope you meet a cute medic
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 17, 2015
"You'll pay for this!" – Capitalism
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 15, 2015