Edgar Allan Poe's full name is Edgar Allan Poetry.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 30, 2015
DEATH: "Your time has come."
ME: *continues to pretend to be asleep*— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 28, 2015
"Father, is that you?" – Nicolas Cage looking at a nest of crows
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 28, 2015
My summer look is "abandoned scarecrow"
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 27, 2015
My milkshake is barren. My yard is littered with bones. The wind is filled with ash. The sky thunders with bass. Happy hour starts at 8pm.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2015
I accidentally mixed coconut water with some cucumber water and a yoga instructor appeared out of nowhere.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2015