*spends too much time playing harmonica during sex*
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2014
If you didn't know the outcome of the Ferguson grand jury decision before it was announced then you haven't been paying attention.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2014
JADEN: You say "tomato"
WILLOW: I also say "tomato"
(In unison:) We both speak but know that the only sound heard before the shadow is color— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 22, 2014
GREAT QUESTIONS TO ASK ON A DATE:
*Who are some of your favorite hobos?
*What's the last book you read underwater?
*Are we on a date?— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 20, 2014
*loses touch with reality*
*awkwardly runs into reality at the grocery store*
R: "So… how are things?"
ME: "I'm growing tigers in my car."— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 18, 2014
WHY ARE YOU A BALDING ADOLESCENT, CHARLIE BROWN?
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 16, 2014