I just want a woman who wants to illegally raise wolves with me for the rest of our lives or until the wolves devour us while we sleep.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 10, 2014
DATING TIP: Be yourself just not too much right away
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 8, 2014
Less catcalling, more sonnets!
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 7, 2014
If you're on death row, for your last meal ask for tapas and just never stop ordering more
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 7, 2014
*goes to housewarming party*
*turns up thermostat*
*leaves*— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 5, 2014
This was kinda weird to be on the ballot but whatever pic.twitter.com/u4LRmpgUxC
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 4, 2014