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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Author: Sam Grittner

Posted on June 30, 2017July 6, 2017

There has been yet another tragic major shooting. Let's take away all the guns now and come up with a replacement later.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 30, 2017

Posted on June 27, 2017July 6, 2017

PAUL RYAN: Heck folks let's calm down
CONSTITUENT: Why do you want to kill my disabled son?
PAUL RYAN: I want a third garage

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 27, 2017

Posted on June 26, 2017July 6, 2017

If I see another happy couple smooching I swear to god I'm going to walk right past them and ask myself why I ruin every relationship I'm in

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 27, 2017

Posted on June 25, 2017July 6, 2017

No flying cars but I get to debate why a kid born with cancer deserves a shot at life with strangers this is truly the future I dreamt of

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 25, 2017

Posted on June 24, 2017July 6, 2017

"… but in the end it turns out, the mist was inside me the whole time." pic.twitter.com/90LxO02XEG

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 24, 2017

Posted on June 23, 2017July 6, 2017

The man who chose this doctor wants to decide the future of your healthcare pic.twitter.com/twBlcKvioc

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 23, 2017

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