The nice thing about drinking tea is that if you accidentally drop food in it you just made soup.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 17, 2016
Who will be the first to fuck an eagle on live TV?
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 16, 2016
Bored? Text "thank you but I'm good on spiders" to a random number right now.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 15, 2016
MANSPLAIN WHAT SEATS ARE WHENEVER POSSIBLE pic.twitter.com/hXflvCZaaV
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 13, 2016
When you know the benevolence of humanity but still feel beholden not to burden others with your psychic quandaries. pic.twitter.com/dp2AlkvRIv
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 12, 2016
Bernie Sanders is the old man on the subway you offer your seat to and he insists you take it and smiles. You notice his pants are backwards
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) February 10, 2016