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Sam Grittner

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on October 29, 2019November 8, 2019

God, grant me the serenity to exploit my enemies’ insecurities against them, the courage to drag them down into a hell of their own making, and the wisdom to document it so I can enjoy it again at a future date.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 30, 2019

Posted on October 28, 2019November 8, 2019

I’m trying to cut plastics out of my life but autoerotic asphyxiation just isn’t the same with a linen tote bag.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 29, 2019

Posted on October 27, 2019November 8, 2019

Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present: Chewie Vuitton

(art by @Robsaysthings) pic.twitter.com/weGPub2r0k

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 28, 2019

Posted on October 26, 2019November 8, 2019

Off-the-chart levels of Youth Pastor energy here pic.twitter.com/Uegld6D5Fd

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 26, 2019

Posted on October 25, 2019November 8, 2019

If you’re not one butt-dial away from incriminating yourself in multiple federal indictments and securing your spot in history as one of the top five stupidest people to ever exist then you my friend are not living life to the fullest.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2019

Posted on October 24, 2019November 8, 2019

AOC: Is murder bad?

MARK ZUCKERBERG: Congresswoman, there are a multitude of factors that go into a decision like that and I, we- clearly in some instances… Look, hurricanes murder people, who are we to judge the wind?

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2019

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