27-years-old: I’m gonna do mushrooms at 6pm so when I do a pile of coke at 3am, the magic will really happen!
37-years-old: I’m staying up two hours past my bedtime because I can’t put this book down! No one can tame this wild horse!
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 1, 2019
I’ve abused drugs a lot & can assure you that pills don’t make you say racist things, being racist makes you say racist things. The worst thing I’ve ever done on Ambien is text random numbers that there were bees in their fridge & stared at walls until we were both uncomfortable.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 30, 2018
Comparing heroin to pot is like comparing a gun to paperclips. One will kill you and the other can help you keep your shit together.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 4, 2017
You can't choose your family but you can choose to take ecstasy before setting foot in their home
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 24, 2016
Cocaine is actually the crushed up bones of trust fund babies.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 2, 2013