I would never join a cult!
-sent from iPhone
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 5, 2018
The Constitution was written by people with wooden teeth who owned slaves. Your iPhone updates every 3 minutes. The solution is progression.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 7, 2017
The new iPhone is waterproof, which means I can finally enjoy my shower while being interrupted by emails from work.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 7, 2016
At this rate it'll only be a couple of years before the iPhone is the same size as the children that make them
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 12, 2014
I'm at the point where I don't even like making eye contact with my phone
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 25, 2013