Here's my first piece for @Playboy, "How To Turn Your Lifetime Of Fuck-Ups Into A Resume To Kill For" https://t.co/LorTtW8O8H
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 29, 2016
*job interview*
"So, tell me just a little about you."
"I'm applying for a job."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 29, 2015
*job interview*
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 30, 2015
*job interview*
"How would you best describe yourself?"
"With words."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 30, 2015
*job interview*
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Giving you your bonus for hiring me."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 22, 2015
*job interview*
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Terraforming on Mars."
"So, Starbucks is basically your stop-gap?"
"Correct."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 5, 2015