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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: #Killme

Posted on May 24, 2015May 26, 2015

I accidentally mixed coconut water with some cucumber water and a yoga instructor appeared out of nowhere.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2015

Posted on May 7, 2015May 8, 2015

To make a new Old Spice name, mix a description of nature with a violent action
Examples:
Arctic Thrust
Breeze Assailant
Forest Chokehold

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 7, 2015

Posted on May 1, 2015May 6, 2015

"Welcome to McDonald's. You started dying the minute you were born, how may I help you?"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 1, 2015

Posted on March 14, 2015March 20, 2015

pic.twitter.com/anDm9KgPx8

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 14, 2015

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