MISSED CONNECTION: We wore matching kimonos to the duel
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 19, 2017
MISSED CONNECTION: You were the exorcist at my niece's quinceañera
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2015
MISSED CONNECTION: You were Natalie Portman. I was also Natalie Portman. It was the best costume party I've ever been to in New Jersey.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2015
MISSED CONNECTION: You were dancing outside a carwash with absolutely no inhibitions. You were 10 feet tall & made of blue plastic. I waved.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 27, 2015
You were an Angel, screaming at airplanes in the parking lot of Costco. Our eyes locked just as you pulled the last of your hair out. It was as red as the red in the RED LOBSTER signs I’ve heard of in modern lore. I was wearing bermuda shorts and a vintage wedding gown that I may or definitely may have stolen from a yacht earlier in the day. You smelled of tapioca and longing. Set your jean jacket on fire, I’ll find you.
If you’re out there dream woman, start one of those fires with black smoke that rises in the sky like in ‘LOST.’ I’ll be there in twenty minutes or three days (depending on if this wheelchair that I souped-up works).