“Tide Pods are now locked up. You’ll need to show proof of ownership of a washing machine and undergo a background check to buy any. Our #1 priority is the safety of our citizens. Also: here’s a free gun. The serial number is scratched off and it’s preloaded with ammo.” – America
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 16, 2018
If you're outraged by free music on your phone just wait until you hear about literally anything else
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 16, 2014
We can't afford health insurance for the country but we can afford to outfit local police forces to look like the expendables?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 14, 2014