The inventor of the calculator is one of the few people in life that actually made something that counts.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 22, 2014
Anxiety means always having to say you're sorry for things that haven't happened yet.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2014
*gets down on one knee*
"Carry me?"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2014
"It's my way or the my way." – person who invented the highway
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 19, 2014
Movies are so fake, like anybody really answers a phone or has kids anymore
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2014
Getting swept into a boring conversation is like softcore kidnapping.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2014